Campaign of the Month: March 2008
The Nemedian Chronicles
Tullweim Chapter 8 Entry 9
This log entry has been translated into Cimmerian in order to avoid suffering the heeer-durr-veeden-noodle-schtompen diction of the common Nordheimer tongue. All translations are literal…sorry, Aesir and Vanir just talk this way.
Once again be everyone wanting me to walk around without the armor, saying because it makes the big clanky-sound when I be to walk around places. There are being too many people running around this town with the swords and other sharpy things for me to be feeling too good about not having the armor. We did be smearing the coal dust onto our bodies again for to be appearing more dark while in the shadows out in the night darkly to where we were be going.
While we’re there in the alley we are hearing from the watch-guards coming, so we sneak backward to better be not be being seen. Almost the big problem was a big pile of the noisy trash that the alley was having right where I stepped to hide. It made a very big noisy sound and I thought ‘hey, I should have just be wearing the armor if all this noisey trash is being here don’t you know’, and the watch-guard was hearing me in the trash then. We all stayed quietly still in the trash while the watch-guards are listening and calling out to see if we’d answer. How much of stupid do they think we’re being to hide and then answer their calling of ‘who it is that be there’? Does any people ever say ‘oh yeah it is me and I’m being right here in the trash’ to the watch-guards when they are hiding in the trash from them? We still kept staying quiet with no more noise and the watch-guards went going away.
We were kept going quiet in more alleys with no noise and not stepping in noisy trash again all of the way to where we were seeing again the high wall at around the old King’s palace-house where he lived before he was have being dead. The Cimmerian was have taking Xacksmith’s silky-rope to do help for climbing us up, so he was running the wall across all the grasses to climb it up and be getting us that way in too on the silky-rope. The silky-rope is looking to be too skinny by much, and Xacksmith was said that it can be holding okay many big man’s heaviness. I am to be laughing at if he is falling because the silky-rope is being breaking. Then I am seeing Cuana on wall up and waving back and forth his arms for running us across all the grasses, so we run. He having been lowered the silky-rope for climbing us up, and Xacksmith was grabbing and being going up to on top of the wall, but he was being falling when only being half way to the top . I was then almost laughing because due to thinking maybe at first the silky-rope was being broken, but then we were seeing that Cuana was not been tying his knot so well and were being angry for him. How can someone not be being okay to tie the knots? He was then being his arms waving like he was being sorry, so we were then to be throwing the silky-rope back at wall top up to him for to hold it while we are being climbing more again.
When we were being all done climbing us up Cuana did be motioning that there were being watch-guards in the tower room right there where we were being next to. Dhak was giving Cuana a bombing thing for the watch-guards that was making out of gray lotus flower. He was then having throw the flower bomb into the room where the watch-guards were being, and the rest of us were being running on the wall to be killing a watch-guard who was seeing us and yelled the alarms. I splattered him to death and then was doing another splatter on one more watch-guard until he was being dead too after coming out from his tower to hearing at the alarm. Cuana had been vanishing already down the wall inside and was not being seen anymore, so we were being to go down some stairs in the other tower after a big splatter on a crazy watch-guard over there who was having the crazys being from the lotus-bomb.
We were getting to the palace house okay with no watch-guards to be seeing us but we were not been seeing Cuana in any of the wheres we could see, so we were to be thinking he was already being at there first. But when we were being there he was not being seen to us, so we were climbing to the palace window up, and then did be seeing the old King while looking through into the window. He was being laid down dead and having the sceptre holding in his hands! As soon as we were seeing that we to be all climbing down into the room and to have the sceptre for us to be taking with. Dhak was then to been doing a magic where to stop traps springing on when we were to be getting the sceptre, so making the sceptre be doing a floaty up is what he magicked for us to be having it. Bad thing though after we were hearing a clicky noise and all these big black scorpions were then being running to us from under where the throne was being. Oh, this being just dandy for no armor upon me now at this time. And they were being hugely, too! Dhak tried to be putting burning on all their asses with some thing of his that makes fire, and some of the scorpions having been to start burning. We were to be trying to hitting them from our weapons and to even be squishing them, but their being like in size toward a monthling piglet was to be making them too much large to be stepping easy upon but also too hard to be hitting from weapons because to their smallnesses. Xacksmith is to be trying to pry the eyes out from all statues being there that I was thinking he could be soon prying out of the eyes on the dead king too, when I’m seeing that the dead king’s head was now being on fire! Now we are to be fighting on scorpions and putting out kingy at the same time. It was not good, for all us to have being stung before the bugs were dead and the king being fairly made roasted upon his face and more. Dhak made a scorpion to be stunned and put it in a bag for it later being to him a pet. That is somehow making me not surprised.
The fire was been put out from a big tapestry we pulled from the wall down to be smothering the flames upon the king. The was to be no doubting in my mind that this throne room and the dead king were being not as regal to see as when we were first here seeing them, and loyalists were not to be seeing it as nice either. We were to be needing to go fast away from there because there were to be many angry and shit-filled pants upon the look the king was being now to have upon him.
All the way back was no more noisy trash and watch-guards were being not there too, and not only to be that but no Cuana too. Cimmerians are not being good at cities too much…they keep too much bad temper for killing always and are being to complain about city-stink and rude people. I know them to being great at very much wilderness but not being so much for in the city. He is probably being lost and I will have to ask to him later if he did maybe have the watch-guards walking him to home. That is to being sure to pissing him off probably.
Then to being back for our headquarters and having for our horses and the armors we were doing. It for sure being good things that it’s being plenty of room in my codpiece nootz-guard for the crustys inside are being lots. Only problems are to be that when I’m not being to wear the nootz-guard the airs are making the crustys being all dried-out. That’s never being good thing because the dry crustys are to being very scratchy onto my nether-vitals, and is being uncomfortable until when it all is being heated up to be sweaty and soft in the nootz-guard again. All was being very comfortable again by when we were being at the gate and to be meeting up to Lady-boss’s soldiers. After that we were to being through the gate and to riding the horses over all the grasses at the battlefields. We were have to being there for several whiles when Cuana does to be riding up about time to join us finally. We are to be all having a groups of the soldiers riding to each with us and I’m to being the one to be holding to the king’s sceptre. As soon as the moon was being straight to over-the-head the other army did start being to charge over all the grasses to us, so we were being to charge to them too and be having the battles on them. In only a few little whiles all the battlefields were to be smelling of the bloods and the horse poos, which is always being good for feeling to more of the battle-lusts and angrys.
Everyones were being in their chaotic frenzys of the battles when we were started to hearing the weird noisings being from the Tor Al’Kiir hill place (which I was thought to being called TOL Al’Kiir some reason for probably) at way across the grasses, and the weirdness of the lightings were to being there too. The battlefields were to being all shakey and rumbly with horses to stumbling and soldiers being to both armies running at fleeing away. Even the moon was to being weirdly blue to color for moments, but then everyones were to being in the frenzys again to be fired up for being smelling the bloods and horse poos too much.